Giving thanks for... veterans and our military

This is a day late but I really am thankful for all those who serve in our military, in part because I could never do it myself.  I know that a lot of people have mixed feelings about the military, and there are a lot of things about the institution that I have big problems with (the latest stats about sexual abuse being just one example). But I also know that institution is made up of thousands of individual men and women who are willing to put their lives at risk so that we can all can sleep more soundly at night. They spend months away from their loved ones, sometimes in physical environments that would have me bitching and moaning within minutes.

Although politicians love to talk about our great servicemen and women, and pose in front of flags with people in uniform, this country often does a pretty poor job of taking care of people once they leave the service, especially if they leave wounded, either physically or mentally. While there are some wonderful organizations whose mission is to help veterans (the Wounded Warrior Project and the Bob Woodruff Foundation have gotten a lot of press lately), I sometimes think the fact that there are so many private organizations playing that role is an indication of how badly the government screws it up. We would all love to live in a world where having a strong military was unnecessary. But since we live in the real world, the least we can do is show our gratitude to all those who serve by making sure that they are taken care of once they come home.

Giving thanks for… Feminists

Rebecca Searles has a great flowchart showing ‘how to tell if you’re a feminist in two easy steps’:

Today, I am celebrating all the feminists who fought so hard for the rights that many of us now take for granted. It’s ironic (and sad) but the very fact that so many young women reject the label of feminist is a sign of how much change the earlier feminists were able to affect. Today, it is hard to imagine encountering the kind of overt discrimination that women faced in the 60’s; most girls are raised believing that they really can do anything their brothers can; and women outnumber men among college students.

And yet…

• Only 98 of the 535 seats (that’s 18.3%) in Congress are held by women (20= 20%, in the Senate and 78 =17.9% in the House);
• Only 21 (4.2%) of the CEOs of Fortune 500 companies are women; only 45 (4.5%) of the Fortune 1000 CEOs are women;
• Women continue to be vastly underrepresented in science and engineering, law, the higher ranks of academia, and even in television;  
• We don’t know as much about women’s health because of bias in medical research (where studies that only included men are treated as if they apply equally to women).
• I have, more than once, been told that I “don’t look like an economist” because I am not a white male.

I could go on but my point is simply that there’s still plenty of need for the kind of feminists who are willing to step up, call themselves feminists and not let people pretend everything’s honky dory.

Let me also be clear: Calling myself a feminist does NOT mean I judge any woman who chooses to stay home and raise her kids. It DOES mean I think we also shouldn’t judge any MAN who wants to stay home and raise his kids, nor should we judge any women who chooses NOT to stay home with her kids. To me, being a feminist means recognizing that these are all valid choices and we need to be working to make sure that governments and companies have policies that allow people to make the choices that work best for them.

Calling myself a feminist also does NOT mean I think all men are out to get women. Given the power differences in this country, we would never have gotten as far as we have if an awful lot of men had not been willing to stand up and be feminists too. I DO believe that there are some people in this country who will never ‘get it’ – and there are more men in that category than women – and being a feminist means calling out those people when they say stupid sh*t, not just letting it go and chalking it up to ‘it’s just a joke’ or ‘boys will be boys’.

And calling myself a feminist does NOT mean I think women are somehow better than men. I do think that the fact that some people equate saying “women are EQUAL” with “women are BETTER” is an indication of the imbalance that still exists in society – we’re so used to men being dominant that the idea of women being equal somehow seems odd and possibly unfair. But if the idea of having half of Congress be female seems like that would be “too many” women, then I have to wonder what your idea of equal representation would be…

Today, I am giving thanks that I was raised by a feminist mother. And I am grateful that there are still plenty of women who are proud to claim the Feminist label. What about you?

Letter from Satan

By now, most people have probably heard about Pat Robertson's stupid-ass comments about the Haitians making a deal with the devil. But a friend just forwarded me a link to what has to be the most awesome letter-to-the-editor ever written - it's from 'Satan', to Pat Robertson, and you just have to go read it. Almost as good was Keith Olbermann's 'Quick Comment' about Robertson's comments (and similarly inane comments by Rush Limbaugh):



I'm not sure what possesses people to make the kinds of comments that Robertson and Limbaugh have made but I hope that Christians and conservatives everywhere are embarrassed for them.

Stuff I liked in the last week...

• Zandria lists 14 Things This Single Gal is Thankful For. My favorite is #5: "I'm thankful not only for the nice people I've met through online dating, and the good experiences I've had, but for the people who have hurt me. I believe without a doubt that getting hurt -- and more importantly, realizing that you can survive, overcome, and prosper -- makes you stronger." I can also really relate to #1: "I'm thankful that I've never felt any pressure to be anything but myself, or rush into something I'm not ready for. I've talked to other people and I know this isn't always the case. My family likes me the way I am." Amen.

• Few things bug me as much as people who say they support/oppose something because of X, when the REAL reason is Y, but they don't want to actually admit that because Y would sound too mean/politically incorrect/stupid. Like people who say they oppose gay marriage because it will somehow weaken 'traditional' marriage when the reality is that they are just homophobic bigots. So I LOVE that there's a guy who is trying to get a measure on the California ballot that would ban divorce. It's called The Marriage Protection Act and the website's tagline pretty much says it all: Safeguarding marriage from the evils of divorce (also love the posts "It's your responsibility to teach your child about reality - not the state's" and "Jesus still loves you if you get divorced - just not as much as before").
  

• Speaking of sarcasm: Rachel, of Rachel's Musings, cracked me up, taking pity on all her poor coupled friends who must be so stressed by the holidays when solitude is so elusive for them.

• Via Sex, Lies and Dating in the City's weekly Guy's Story, I discovered Jackie Summer's blog F*cking in Brooklyn: Love as a life or death experience. I spent more time than I meant to reading all his posts. To give you an idea why I'm hooked, this is from a September post, The Case Against Settling:

The choice to stick together and make it work is a conscious one, and one you can make, in theory, with anyone. No matter how much you love (or barely tolerate) someone, there are going to be challenges you will have to face together.If you are going to go thru all of the problems that marriage brings one way or another, why go thru it with someone you don't absolutely adore? Why not go thru all of that with someone you're crazy about?

[Being single] also means I have to put up with no one's bullshit but my own. Sure being single sucks sometimes, but at the end of the day, I'd rather be happy alone than unhappy with someone who's not right for me; I've done that. I know I'm risking living alone for the rest of my life. But life IS risk, and it's only the people who are willing to take real chances who get real rewards.

Mourning Ted Kennedy

Is it just me or has it been a bizarre summer for celebrity deaths? Some major personalities have left us this summer - Farrah Fawcett, Michael Jackson, John Hughes (or maybe it just feels like a lot because I'm a child of the 80's?). But none of those hit me like the death of Ted Kennedy. I simply can't imagine a world without Ted Kennedy in the Senate. What's kind of weird to me about that is that it's not like I've ever followed Kennedy's career all that closely. Of course, I didn't really have to, when his name was simply always around, attached to some of the biggest and most influential pieces of legislation of my lifetime (and especially since I do work in education policy). And of course, he IS a Kennedy. But I think the reason I'm particularly affected by his passing was summed up best by Robert Reich:

America has had a few precious individuals who are both passionate about social justice and also understand deep in their bones its practical meaning. And we have had a few who possess great political shrewdness and can make the clunky machinery of democratic governance actually work. But I have known but one person who combined all these traits and abilities. His passing is an inestimable loss.

btw, I thought it was particularly fitting (or perhaps, ironic) that today is the anniversary of the day that the 19th Amendment was passed, giving women the right to vote (hat tip to Mixed Race America).

Get government out of marriage

In a fitting follow-up to my last post about the discrimination suit in Massachusetts over the Defense of Marriage Act, there is a group trying to get an initiative on the California ballot to replace the term "marriage" with "domestic partnership" in all of California's laws. Here's the summary:

SUBSTITUTES DOMESTIC PARTNERSHIP FOR MARRIAGE IN CALIFORNIA LAW. INITIATIVE CONSTITUTIONAL AMENDMENT AND STATUTE. Replaces the term “marriage” with the term “domestic partnership” throughout California law, but preserves the rights provided in marriage. Applies equally to all couples, regardless of sexual orientation. Repeals the provision in California’s Constitution that states only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California. Summary of estimate by Legislative Analyst and Director of Finance of fiscal impact on state and local government: This measure would have an unknown fiscal effect on state and local governments. (09-0003.)

On the Facebook group site, the authors of the initiative explain:

The idea behind this compromise is to provide equal rights, without offending the religious community who claim that "marriage" is a religious institution. Thus, "Marriage" itself would become a social ceremony instead of a political institution.

I'm not sure why they included specific language about repealing Prop 8 (which reinforced the definition of marriage as between a man and a woman) since if all laws apply to domestic partners, the definition of marriage seems a bit moot and simply would create more political difficulties. Regardless, it seems that there are plenty of people on both sides of the issue that hate this initiative (conservatives for the reasons you would expect, liberals because it doesn't go far enough), and it's a long shot that it will even get on the ballot, let alone pass, but if you want to sign the petition or or learn more, you can visit their website: www.dompar.org (though apparently, they've been having some server issues due to higher-than-expected interest so the site's been down the last few days).

It's about time

One thing I have never been able to figure out about the gay-marriage issue is why no one has sued state or federal governments over policies that confer benefits based on being married. In California, I think (but someone please correct me if I'm wrong!) that almost any policy that applies to spouses also applies to domestic partners (and I'm talking legally, setting aside whether hospitals or other institutions actually make it equally easy for partners to exercise those rights). But in other states, and in federal policies, there are all kinds of things that give benefits to married couples that are not available to 'domestic partners'. It has always seemed so strange to me that you could have one law that says "Group X gets this benefit", another law that says, "You are not allowed to be part of Group X", and not have the first law considered discriminatory. I assume it has to do with some legal issue about 'protected class' or appropriate grounds for 'discrimination', but it just seems wrong.

So I was really happy to hear that a group of same-sex couples and gay widowers in Massachusetts have finally filed a discrimination suit against the federal government over the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA). I think the likelihood that they prevail is probably pretty low but I'll certainly be rooting for them...

Reflections on the election

[The following is an email I received yesterday from a dear friend from college. Adam lives in Los Angeles with his family and I asked if I could post his email because he expresses so well what is in my own heart but does it far more eloquently than I could.]

Dear Friends and Family,

Aman and I awoke this morning with unfortunately heavy hearts. We found ourselves unable to fully enjoy or celebrate Barack Obama's historic win, because of the heartbreaking passage of Proposition 8, which enshrined discrimination against gays and lesbians into our California constitution. We found ourselves thinking of our two beautiful children and of our own marriage, which 45 years ago would not have been possible in much of the country because of very similar ignorance and fear.

Proponents of Proposition 8 do not like it when parallels are drawn between same-sex marriage and interracial marriage. But the similarities are too overwhelmingly obvious to be ignored. Forty-five years ago, in much of the country, Aman and I would not have been allowed to marry and have a family. We would have been denied these rights because so many folks felt that interracial marriages were unnatural, contrary to tradition, contrary to how marriage has always been, and against God's will. Sound familiar? These same arguments were all heard from Proposition 8 supporters. The Yes on 8 campaign advertisements focused on allegations that children would be taught about same-sex marriage in the schools and that free speech rights would be limited because individuals and churches would be forced to officiate and accept marriages that they believed were ungodly. These were also arguments that were regularly voiced with respect to interracial marriages.

As we sat with our two kids early this morning - they got us up at 5:00 a.m. again - we found ourselves wanting to fully celebrate what President Obama's incredible victory represents for this country. But we found ourselves unable to fully do so because of the heartache of knowing that yesterday Californians enshrined discrimination into our Constitution by denying certain Californians the right to marry the person of their choosing.

For those who think that the same-sex marriage issue was pushed too fast and too soon, I would point you to the poetic words of Langston Hughes who said:

I tire so of hearing people say,
Let things take their course.
Tomorrow is another day.
I do not need my freedom when I'm dead.
I cannot live on tomorrow's bread.

Our hearts ache this morning for all our gay and lesbian friends and family members who last night were told by the people of California that they can not marry the person that they loved -- that they can not fulfill their dreams in the same way that the rest of us can.

Our hearts ache for the gay and lesbian boys and girls who are struggling, as all young people do, with who they are and what their place is in the world. Last night, the people of California once again told these young people that they were unnatural and deviant, and that they are not entitled to the same rights as the rest of us.

Our hearts ache for our two children, whom we love more than anything. Last night the American people helped to make the world a better place for our children by electing Barack Obama. But last night, the people of California said not so fast, there is still much work to be done.

Just like the struggle to allow interracial marriage, the struggle for full marriage equality for all will not be won overnight. These fights began with individual couples who refused to give up on their love and their dreams just because others said that such love was unnatural and wrong. They spread to friends and family who become allies in the cause. As they picked up strength, political leaders began to speak out, the courts came around, and eventually the general public did as well we are obviously still working on this last step with respect to same-sex marriages.

What we learned from last night is that we still have a lot of work to do especially in low-income communities and communities of color. At root, I believe that opposition to same-sex marriage is rooted in fear and ignorance. Fear of something that for generations we have been describing as icky and unnatural. Ignorance of the love and commitment that infuses so many same-sex unions. We can change these things. We will change these things.

There is hope in the exit polls from Proposition 8, which found a massive generation gap: the under-30s voted for marriage equality by 67 to 31 percent; the over-65s voted for discrimination by 57 to 43 percent. I have no doubt that there will be many other struggles that we will bequeath to our children. But this will not be one of them. It will take longer than we had hoped, and that makes us sad. But, make no mistake about it -- this is a fight that we will win.

Although we feel much anger and sadness, Aman and I are still hopeful. Barack Obama is correct when he says that much of America's genius lies in its ability to change. In his speech last night -- which was as inspiring as he so often is -- Obama used many lines that were used by Martin Luther King. At one point Obama referred to "the arc of history." After the famous march to Selma, King was asked how long it would take to achieve justice. His answer is well worth remembering at times like this:

How long? Not long. Because the arc of history is long, but it bends toward justice.

In solidarity and love,

Adam Murray
Executive Director
Inner City Law Center
www.innercitylaw.org

Election Day!

Please vote! If you aren't sure where to go, Google makes it easy: go to http://maps.google.com/vote and enter your address. I'm actually a permanent mail-in voter but I'm taking my ballot to a polling place today so I can get an "I voted" sticker to put on my Obama pin!

As a Californian Democrat, my vote in the Presidential election won't mean much (other than being able to tell my nieces and nephews that I voted for Barack Obama), but fortunately, we have all those lovely Propositions to keep us on our toes. Prop 8 is pretty much in a dead heat, which I just find sad. I don't know if it's the appalling ads that are freaking people out but in my mind, even if you don't approve of gay marriage, discrimination just doesn't fit with the California culture of 'live and let live'.

The only Proposition that I'm actually voting FOR is Prop 11, the redistricting measure. I've been meaning to write a post about it - maybe I still will - but the short version is that my time in Sacramento made me a much bigger fan of term limits and convinced me that the current system is seriously messed up. Everyone up there talks about people's terms as if every incumbant will be re-elected for the maximum terms possible (i.e., a new Assemblymember's term isn't considered to be two years, it's assumed to be six). Maybe that's not a bad thing but then why don't we just change term length to six years and at least let them focus on governing instead of spending so much money on campaigns that don't really mean much?

At any rate, whoever or whatever you are voting for, today is going to be an historic day. Get out there and vote!

Troubled

I know I've been neglecting this blog the last several weeks but I hope you will forgive me and read on because I could use your input. Tonight I find myself deeply troubled, and I'm wondering if I'm not alone. It's partly the financial meltdown, which I have been following closely, probably more closely than the average person, trying to understand what's going on and why. But even with a Ph.D. in economics, I'm not really sure I get it and it's gotten to a point where I'm not sure I even want to know anymore. The headlines are starting to feel unreal and if I let myself think about it too carefully, I'd probably panic, which is exactly what I know we all need NOT to do.

Another part of my feeling troubled is the presidential campaign. I've been following that pretty closely too, watching the debates and reading a lot of the spin. For a while now, I have been really disappointed in John McCain, a man I once considered voting for, because I feel like he is just not the same man he was even a year ago. But the nastiness that has been evident at his (and even more, at Sarah Palin's) recent rallies, goes beyond disappointing - it's just plain scary. David Gergen was on the Colbert Report last night and I think he summed it up well when he said (of McCain): "He needs to rein it in. He is a better man than that." I know there are plenty of nut jobs in this country, not to mention perfectly sane people who happen to be racist bigots; but the truly scary thing is that "leaders" like John McCain are condoning their hate.

Utlimately, maybe that is what's at the root of my troubled heart tonight: a fundamental lack of leadership, and therefore a lack of trust in our government. I am praying that Obama, who inspires me more than any politician has since Clinton in 1992, will be able to stop this downward spiral but given current rhetoric, I also fear for his life if he actually wins. The thing is, for the last eight years, Americans have seen our civil liberties eroded and our standing in the world deteriorate. I think many in my particular socioeconomic class have not been personally affected and so we have watched it all with a sort of detached horror - intellectually, we know all the things Bush has done are awful but it's not clear what we could/should do about it. But if Obama loses, or is assassinated before taking office, I honestly wonder if we are all aware of how bad it could get...

I hate to be such a downer (those who know me know that this is not my usual m.o. at all). So help me out - am I being too pessimistic? Or do you feel the same frustration? How are you dealing with it?

Well put

At the risk of sounding like part of the 'intellectual elite', I really liked this post from Russell Korobkin at the Volokh Conspiracy:

The problem with Palin on a national ticket is not her lack of experience, per se. Few governors have much, if any, direct foreign policy experience, and we elect them President quite often. Specific experience can be quite overrated, and if you blindly use it to reinforce rather than challenge your prior beliefs and prejudices it can be downright harmful. The problem is that it isn't clear that she even pays much attention to the newspapers or has had, prior to this week's airplane flight to Alaska with McCain staffers, any in-depth conversations or even in-depth thoughts about the critical issues that have faced the country over the last several years. The Palin interviews with Charlie Gibson over the past two days have provided definitive proof that she lacks the intellectual heft that she will sorely need if she ever were to find herself having to weigh and choose between competing arguments made by advisors about complicated policy questions.

She's in way over her head. Worse, if you believe what she told Gibson about her lack of hesitation when McCain offered her the position, she doesn't even know it.

Add in McCain morphing from someone I once considered voting for to someone who flat-out lies, and I just donated money to a politician for the first time in my life.

Random thoughts about Palin

I've been completely caught up in my classes for the last couple weeks but like a good little feminist Democrat, I've been accumulating some links about Sarah Palin that I want to share so here are some worthwhile links and a few thoughts:

snopes.com: Alaskans' Opinions on Sarah Palin
This email, from a woman in Palin's hometown, has been making the rounds but when I first got it, I thought it must be fake. However, when I checked Snopes.com (which I encourage everyone to do before sending on any kind of chain-y emails!), it turns out that it's real. The letter is critical but not in a scathing way - the author originally sent it just to friends and family, a couple days after Palin was announced, simply to give them more information.

Mixed Race America: Post convention thoughts
This is one of my new favorite blogs (and not just because it's written by a 30-something professor named Jennifer). She just says a lot of stuff I wish I'd said, like: "I would like people to recognize that women, just like men, are complex creatures. And that just because you are a woman does not mean that you can speak for all women or are in favor of what, politically, we refer to as "women's rights." Same thing goes for being African American--Barack Obama does not speak on behalf of all African Americans. He does not "represent" black American. He is not running for president of the American "black diaspora." He is running to be President of the United States."
I agree 100%. But what bugs me is that the McCain campaign seems to want to use Palin to get the support of women but then anytime someone actually mentions she is a women (in a negative way), they jump all over that as sexist. Can't have it both ways...

The Daily Show: Sarah Palin Gender Card
That hypocrisy is really what bugs me most about the coverage of Palin, and I'll admit Democrats are engaging in it too - people on both sides are saying things about her that they would never say about someone in their own party. Not that this is anything new in politics but for some reason, it seems more obvious this time. And Jon Stewart makes that point brilliantly!

The Volokh Conspiracy - Should We Hold Belief in Creationism Against Candidates for Political Office?
Given my tendency to over-analyze everything, I feel like it's becoming increasing rare for someone else to make a reasonable point that truly makes me go, "hmmm..." but this post really did. The author wonders why we (i.e., the media and liberals) make a bigger deal about someone believing in creationism than believing other, equally unprovable religious ideas (like the virgin birth, the resurrection, etc.). I will say that I think part of the difference lies with what people do with those beliefs - you just don't see people pushing to teach the virgin birth in sex ed classes or the resurrection in history or biology classes - but I think it's a good point.