tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4189996225963309854.post1980973403277403807..comments2022-10-17T03:09:47.053-07:00Comments on QuirkyEconomist: Can I be sappy without being seen as smug?Jennhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06342077835649746639noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4189996225963309854.post-50682184305477854952009-11-04T19:24:35.604-08:002009-11-04T19:24:35.604-08:00BUT the question is, did you post about your happi...BUT the question is, did you post about your happiness when you were single, and if so, did people respond about how happy they were for you?Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04377821057112503039noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4189996225963309854.post-52807366304854064142009-10-29T20:23:11.055-07:002009-10-29T20:23:11.055-07:00Hmmm.
For me it's all about context and perspe...Hmmm.<br />For me it's all about context and perspective. There are people who people quite smug when they enter inter relationships. Not all. Some. <br /><br />And some of them use social media as a tool to remind the people in their network, over and over, about their new acquisition - but that's pretty much what some of those updates amount to, "I've acquired a SO".<br /><br />That said, I can't imagine you doing that. Or anyone I actually liked much. And I don't see anything wrong with a little bit of PDA if it's genuine and not sleazy. <br /><br />IDK, I guess what I'm trying to say is that of course you can be sappy without being seen as smug. The people who are seen as smug usually are smug.Simone Granthttp://www.sex-lies-dating.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4189996225963309854.post-45652842008635889182009-10-27T14:21:43.079-07:002009-10-27T14:21:43.079-07:00Hmmm. I'm sitting here trying to explain what...Hmmm. I'm sitting here trying to explain what it is that some of us don't like about PDAs and gushy Facebook updates without seeming like I'm directing it at you, which I'm not, especially since I've never even seen your FB page. <br /><br />First of all, I know that not all couples who are "sappy" feel "smug," and I can see why DePaulo's characterization would be offensive to couples who don't intend to be that way. Second, I think there are things beyond "smugness" that can make people feel uncomfortable with public mushiness. All I can really do is explain what makes <i>me</i> feel uncomfortable, but please don't think I'm assuming that <i>you</i> do any of these things.<br /><br />PDAs--These make me uncomfortable mostly because I feel like I'm being forced to witness a private moment. I don't want to see most people in intimate moments, and, for me, the "intimate" threshold begins somewhere around repeated, lengthy kisses. I also admit to having the urge to roll my eyes at couples who can never let go of each other's hands or not have some form of physical contact at all times. This is not so much because that behavior is "intimate" but because it implies that they're so symbiotic, they can't bear to be physically separated for a few minutes. <br /><br />Social Networking Profiles--I'm not sure how to say this without sounding like the stereotypical bitter singleton because it has nothing to do with singleness per se. I want everyone I know to be happy. Definitely. But I also don't need to hear about it a hundred times. I'm not just talking about coupling here. This could apply to anything, but I find that coupling tends to inspire most of the repetitiously rapturous comments. <br /><br />For instance, say I knew someone who published a book. I would totally expect them to make some ecstatic updates when they landed the book deal and maybe some follow-up updates if they got a rave review from a well-known critic or hit a certain sales goal. But if every day or every week they had to post about how thrilled they were about the book, I'd start to feel a little annoyed. I'd never tell them that because I wouldn't want to be hurtful, but I'd start to feel like, "Ok, I get it. You're over the moon about your book. Let's move on. What else is happening in your life?"<br /><br />Now replace the book deal with a significant other, and that's what annoys me about a lot of these FB updates. I know some of them aren't <i>trying</i> to be boastful, but reading them constantly feels like someone is sitting there eating a chocolate cake in front of me and going on and on about how delicious it is. Maybe that makes me sound cold and heartless, I don't know. And the thing is that I truly DO want all the people in my life to be happy. But I hope that doesn't mean I also have to play the role of cheerleader or applauding audience all the time.<br /><br />It's not my intention to make you feel bad but to explain a little better why some of us cringe at public mush so that it will be more understandable. Again, it's not so much the coupling for me per se as it is the relentless happy-happy-happy about <i>anything</i>, which starts to feel like a taunt to anyone who isn't that joyous all the time even though it may not be intended that way at all. <br /><br />{sigh} This is why I try to stay far away from FB! I've had about a dozen people invite me to join, and I still haven't succumbed!Clever Elsiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16418117983991542947noreply@blogger.com