Music Monday: Stay

Every Most Mondays I'm sharing songs from my Who I Am playlist. If you have favorite songs that inspire you to live a fabulous life, please feel free to share in the comments!

The other night, my boyfriend asked me why women ever get involved with married guys. We were talking about Tiger Woods but his question wasn't so much about why women are willing to sleep with married celebrities, but why women would get involved with men that they know can't/won't give them what they want. I didn't really know what to tell him, except that a lot of people a) are good at deluding themselves and b) are willing to put up with less than they deserve. I should know; I've definitely been there (though not with someone who was married!).

So today, I'm cheating a bit with my Music Monday pick (pun intended) - Sugarland's Stay isn't actually on my "Who I Am" playlist right now but a couple years ago, I did play it ad nauseum to remind me why I needed to get the hell out of my last relationship. I mentioned in my last Music Monday post that country songs often tell stories or at least have a clear message. This song also employs a device that I always think is cool - it uses the same phrase in different contexts so that the meaning in the last verse/chorus is different from in the beginning of the song.



I've been sitting here staring at the clock on the wall
And I've been laying here praying, praying she won't call
It's just another call from home
And you'll get it and be gone
And I'll be crying

And I'll be begging you, baby
Beg you not to leave
But I'll be left here waiting
With my Heart on my sleeve
Oh, for the next time we'll be here
Seems like a million years
And I think I'm dying

What do I have to do to make you see
She can't love you like me?

[chorus] Why don't you stay
I'm down on my knees
I'm so tired of being lonely
Don't I give you what you need
When she calls you to go
There is one thing you should know
We don't have to live this way
Baby, why don't you stay

You keep telling me, baby
There will come a time
When you will leave her arms
And forever be in mine
But I don't think that's the truth
And I don't like being used and I'm tired of waiting
It's too much pain to have to bear
To love a man you have to share

[chorus]

I can't take it any longer
But my will is getting stronger
And I think I know just what I have to do
I can't waste another minute
After all that I've put in it
I've given you my best
Why does she get the best of you
So next time you find you wanna leave her bed for mine

Why don't you stay
I'm up off my knees
I'm so tired of being lonely
You can't give me what I need
When she begs you not to go
There is one thing you should know
I don't have to live this way
Baby, why don't you stay, yeah

Stuff I liked in the last week...

• Zandria lists 14 Things This Single Gal is Thankful For. My favorite is #5: "I'm thankful not only for the nice people I've met through online dating, and the good experiences I've had, but for the people who have hurt me. I believe without a doubt that getting hurt -- and more importantly, realizing that you can survive, overcome, and prosper -- makes you stronger." I can also really relate to #1: "I'm thankful that I've never felt any pressure to be anything but myself, or rush into something I'm not ready for. I've talked to other people and I know this isn't always the case. My family likes me the way I am." Amen.

• Few things bug me as much as people who say they support/oppose something because of X, when the REAL reason is Y, but they don't want to actually admit that because Y would sound too mean/politically incorrect/stupid. Like people who say they oppose gay marriage because it will somehow weaken 'traditional' marriage when the reality is that they are just homophobic bigots. So I LOVE that there's a guy who is trying to get a measure on the California ballot that would ban divorce. It's called The Marriage Protection Act and the website's tagline pretty much says it all: Safeguarding marriage from the evils of divorce (also love the posts "It's your responsibility to teach your child about reality - not the state's" and "Jesus still loves you if you get divorced - just not as much as before").
  

• Speaking of sarcasm: Rachel, of Rachel's Musings, cracked me up, taking pity on all her poor coupled friends who must be so stressed by the holidays when solitude is so elusive for them.

• Via Sex, Lies and Dating in the City's weekly Guy's Story, I discovered Jackie Summer's blog F*cking in Brooklyn: Love as a life or death experience. I spent more time than I meant to reading all his posts. To give you an idea why I'm hooked, this is from a September post, The Case Against Settling:

The choice to stick together and make it work is a conscious one, and one you can make, in theory, with anyone. No matter how much you love (or barely tolerate) someone, there are going to be challenges you will have to face together.If you are going to go thru all of the problems that marriage brings one way or another, why go thru it with someone you don't absolutely adore? Why not go thru all of that with someone you're crazy about?

[Being single] also means I have to put up with no one's bullshit but my own. Sure being single sucks sometimes, but at the end of the day, I'd rather be happy alone than unhappy with someone who's not right for me; I've done that. I know I'm risking living alone for the rest of my life. But life IS risk, and it's only the people who are willing to take real chances who get real rewards.